So Brighton and Hove City Council have decided that Brighton needs a ‘welcome sign’ for visitors and tourists entering the City. After much discussion, they decided a sign saying, ‘Welcome to Brighton’ at the train station, would do the job. Innovative and forward thinking, as every good council should be.

Firstly, I think most people booking a train ticket to Brighton, will have a good idea that their final destination will probably be Brighton. Mainly because it’s on the ticket, the train announcer will probably mention it as the train pulls up and if it was to go any further, you would end up in the sea, or worse, Worthing.

So we don’t need a sign to remind people they are in Brighton. The first thing you see when you get off the train is a bearded hipster and the sea, so it could only really be Brighton. So why have the sign? It’s just going to take up space and we have a welcome sign off the A23, as you enter Brighton. That’s where welcome signs belong, by the roadside, like a Wimpy.

So let’s not do what other towns and cities do. Let’s do something original, something unique to Brighton. We know we are special. We know we live in the best City in the UK. Let’s show off a bit. Let’s come up with something that says, ‘we are Brighton.’

So I had a good long hard think about this. I also talked it about it on the radio show and opened the lines to my millions of listeners (give or take a few noughts). Seagulls featured heavily, the most amusing of which was an idea for a statue of a seagull stealing chips from a local.

My personal choice though would be someone we all know and love (we hate seagulls, despite being so ‘at one with nature’).

'Keep up, you young bastards.'

Step forward, ‘Disco Pete.’ You know him, the old guy with the Michael Jackson glove, the fiery shirt, the baseball cap full of badges, the man who can’t stop dancing. Found at every outdoor event in Brighton that involves music. And most clubs down West Street, on a weekend. Yes, he still goes clubbing.

So my proposal would be that Disco Pete is paid by the council to dance on the concourse at Brighton train station.12 hours a day, with no breaks for food or water. He doesn’t need them and I’ve never seen him drink or eat.

We don’t need a sign. Just Disco Pete dancing his dance, as visitors flock in to Brighton. We get it, they don’t. It’s our secret.

It’s our main man saying, through the medium of dance, ‘this is what we are about.’

Over to you Brighton and Hove City Council.