Happy New Year and yes, I’m one of those annoying bastards who do a detox in January. And I’m not quite sure why, because I do enjoy a drink. Let’s investigate. I love December. My liver doesn’t. That much is clear. My birthday is in December ( I always have a party), there’s Christmas to follow that and in this month I tend to have a lot of social events on (I don’t, I just create them). I come alive in December. I’m reasonably conscious the rest of the year but December is MY month. It’s the most fun time of the year for me but this does tend to centre around alcohol.

So come January, rather than extend the fun but decrease my life expectancy, I usually aim for a month off the booze. Now there’s no real need for this. I’m not an alcoholic but I think I get caught up in proving to myself that I’m not dependent. That I don’t need alcohol in my life to have a good time (I do) and that I’ll feel better without it (I don’t).

But I love a challenge. I quite like the idea of setting that as a goal, after drinking almost daily in December, I deprive myself completely the following month. I’m quite an extreme person and this is a typical example of that.

But what if I was knocked down by the No.5 to Patcham tomorrow? Would I be glad that I spent my last days avoiding pubs and drinking herbal tea? Did I spend my last days on earth, a happy care-free man? I think you know the answer to these questions.

And in case you didn’t, I’ve decided I’m going to the pub tonight.

Happy New Year.